I have turned a corner. I no longer feel like I'm stuck in limbo-land.
This last weekend I was back home in Michigan, surrounded by family and friends, most of whom I have known pratically all of my life. Friends near my age (in our 20's) are in that new stage of life, entering the work force, many getting married and starting their own families, finding their niches in their local churches, and transitioning into "adulthood" (whatever that is). Sometimes that can feel awkward, trying to relate as "adults" when you've never conversed on that plane before. The last few times going home sometimes I would feel that awkward gap. But this trip home, for whatever reason, I felt totally comfortable in who I was and my place in the whole scheme of things.
For instance, my whole family (mom and dad, brothers and sisters) went out to Country Kitchen for breakfast on Saturday, and it is just a joy to be FRIENDS with all of your siblings. We reminisced about things in the "good old days," but I didn't have the desire this time to go back to those days or find myself choked up because those days are over. This time I was just surrounded with such peace and contentment--and, yes, a few tears when we were singing for Mrs. Midkiff in the nursing home, but that was different. It is no longer weird to think of my sister Rachel as married. She and her husband Matt are doing fine and raising two very cute and lively little dachshunds. My brother Tim is counting down the days (80-something by now) until he and his fiance Kristen get married. And it wasn't weird to think about that, either. Kristen is becoming a normal part of conversation--and we even saved a place for her at Country Kitchen. Of course Sarah lives with me now so I am able to see her maturity as a young adult firsthand all the time. I was just able to see us all moving on to our own places in life and serving the Lord in our different ways. I was just so content this trip, but who can't but be content around family members that love the Lord and are able to have meaningful discussions and game times and look forward to spending time together? Maybe it was just the four of us siblings back together again and sitting around the kitchen table playing Settlers of Catan, but it was wonderful to be back with each other, not longing for the old times back, but facing forward, looking forward to more times together we can share as we move on to our different lives and vocations, yet are still connected, not only as family members, but as the body of Christ. And I am so thankful that I know that no matter what else happens, I will be able to spend eternity with my family, together in heaven.
I am home. Content with where God has placed me for now and so thankful for my wonderful family.
"For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11