An excerpt from my diary...
I hesitate to share from this portion of my life, because I don't think marital status is what defines one as a person, and too many people in my season of life seem to be all too focused on the opposite sex. I don't want to sound like this is my main focus in life or that I'm getting desperate now. (My God is so much bigger than eharmony.com!) There's more to life than marital status. But, yes, I am human, so I do wonder sometimes about why I'm not married--or even dating. (Or maybe I've been reading too many Christian romance novels.) So allow me a brief post to indulge myself and get it out of my system. When I thought about this part of my life when I was younger, I always pictured myself as being a wife and mother by now (I'd definitely have at least 2 kids by 30, right?), but obviously that wasn't God's plan. Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me, if I'm not good enough, not friendly enough, too solitary, too independent, or whatever.
BUT THEN I work on getting my focus UP--where it needs to be. I believe God has guided me through my decisions this far in my life--college, job in Indiana. I believe I am where God wants me to be, and that's all I need to be focused on. I only want to be married if my husband and I can serve God more effectively together than we could separately, and apparently God's plan for me to serve Him involves my time as a single person. Apparently God has things He wants me to continue to learn in this portion of my life, or He has tasks He wants me to perform. I have so much more freedom now to be a servant at church than I would if I had a spouse or a family. I am enjoying my life where God has put me, and sometimes I wonder if I could be any more happier in life than I already am. I'm okay if God wants me to serve Him singly for the rest of my life. This life on earth is so short anyway--why waste time on trivial earthly matters? And if I can keep my focus on serving God and spending my time in church activities, I won't be sidetracked by the desires of the world. I've always prayed that God would make it extremely obvious to me when the man he wanted for me crossed my path, because I'm not planning to be sidetracked from serving God and working on desiring what God wants for me. Psalm 37:4 "Delight thyself also in the Lord and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
7 comments:
AMEN!
Amen to all that. I find myself with those thoughts at 20, but then those reassurances are always there as well. Thanks for the great reminder, and for saying it so well!!!
Beth, I enjoyed reading this post so much. And if you don't mind, I'd like to make a copy of it and hand it out to others who are struggling with this! (Oh, and a belated happy birthday, by the way!!) It's encouraging to hear of your ultimate trust in God. And though I'm sure you have your moments (as we all do =)), I appreciate where you've chosen to land on this issue. Resting in God's character (and in His gracious and sovereign plan) is the answer when we falter. I'm so thankful for your ministry in my life, your example, and your friendship! Enjoy being 30!! Love you bunches!!
Very well written. In His timing, it will work out according to His will. You are doing the right thing now by waiting on Him and trusting in Him (instead of eharmony).
Your desire to please the Lord is a blessing to your Mom. Looking forward to having you serve here for VBS.
Love, MOM
ah, Beth - amen, girly.
Dear Beth,
It's super encouraging to hear a girl say these things. I've always been pretty much okay with being single. I think girls battle with it more. I will go ahead and put it out there so all the ladies know... There is nothing more attractive in a woman than confidence and dignity and a true sense of being good with who you are and where you are in life. There's nothing less attractive than the opposite btw. Very well written post, and a good reminder.
I miss being on worship team with you! I hope I get to see everyone when I come back to get my stuff... Whenever that might be.
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